15 years ago today I married by partner in crime, my best friend and the man who sees me at my worst and at my best. I am blessed to have stumbled upon him through some mutual friends at a fraternity party our Junior year of college. Alot has happened in 15 years: multiple vacations, several houses, 2 dogs, the loss of 6 of our grandparents and the addition of our 2 marvelously spunky children! There are also things that I know about him now that I didn’t know then: he does NOT like generic cereal, he knows more about birds and trees than most botanists and he can make a mean mac and cheese.
The question I have asked myself today is: How different of a wife am I now as compared to when we got married? The answer: more realistic. Like a lot of young girls, we have this fantasy of life married to our prince. He’s perfect in every way and is always there to catch us when we fall. Ok, I’m not that naive, but a few of those underlying principles I was naive about. First of all, I thought he was a mind reading prince. Didn’t he KNOW that I wanted roses for our first Valentine’s Day and that I wanted to be surprised with dinner out? Realization #1: he isn’t a mind reader. I’m not an overly chatty person who verbalizes her every want and need. Maybe if that’s my expectation, I should tell him. Communication goes a long way in a successful marriage. Hmmmm, maybe I was onto something…
Another realization came when our son was diagnosed with ADHD. Is my prince charming going to sweep in and save the day? When I was mentally exhausted from trying to help my son with his melt-downs, who would be there to comfort ME? Would he be my knight in shining armor? He tried, but it wasn’t ALL that we needed.
The truth is, my husband is my rock. He IS always there to listen to me when I am ready to open up. He IS always there to support me and offer up advice. God gave him to me as my life partner and I am forever thankful for that. He gets my weird sense of humor and makes me laugh when I need it most. He loves the movie Tommy Boy just as much as I do and knows all the lyrics to most Dave Matthews Band songs, just like me. He is my soul mate. Is he ALL I need though? No. That’s too much pressure for one human being. I have learned not to confuse my spouse with my savior. I have a father in heaven who is always there to listen, in the good and bad, and HE is the one that can save me from myself. He can comfort me like no other human being can when I am mentally exhausted. He is my savior. A savior that loves me so much that he gave me my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward. For richer or poorer. Until death do us part.
Love your spouse enough not to weigh them down with heavy expectations, but show them grace and forgiveness, just as our Father does. Here’s to many, many more years with my golf-loving Boilermaker. He’s better than any prince charming I could have imagined.
-Remember to liveHislove,