In my younger years, I was fearful of what could happen in life, from little things to big things. As I have gotten older, my perspective has changed and spiritual maturity has helped me to shift my worry to God. I am still a worrier to some degree, but I guess we all are! Sometimes it is just hard to “let go and let God”. Am I right?
When I was pregnant with our first child, it was very normal pregnancy. I had gestational diabetes, which I controlled with diet and exercise. In my eighth month, I developed a stomach virus and simultaneously what I thought was a urinary tract infection and was being treated with antibiotics. Long story short, I ended up going into a labor that could not be stopped, and our son was born at 30 weeks, 6 days. This was no normal delivery either. We were mentally coached ahead of time by Neonatologists (premature baby doctors) regarding the myriad of things that could go wrong with our baby. He could have mental retardation, vision problems, breathing problems, etc. The list seemed to go on and on. In the mist of all of this chaos though, I felt peace. Our son was born at a hefty 3#, 6oz. Definitely no chubster! He was welcomed into this world by a team of specialists who whisked him off to do quick assessments, place him on oxygen and into his “incubator”. We did not get to hold him for several weeks. We spent 6 weeks and our first Christmas with him in the hospital. I wouldn’t have had it any other way though. At no time, did we feel sorry for ourselves. To us, he was perfect. He was the little engine that could.
Children born this early frequently have “apnea of prematurity”. This means that they have small episodes where they stop breathing. Most rebreathe on their own and some require medicinal intervention (medicine) to prevent the episodes. He was on medication to prevent such episodes. Before being discharged, he had to pass a “car seat test”. The child has to sit in their car seat for the amount of time it takes the parents to get home, without having an apnea episode. He passed and we went home!
I know that God had a reason for it all. This is one roadblock I was happy to have. It brought my entire family closer together and it brought me closer to God. It gave me great appreciation for the men and women who work his these tiny babies daily. I can say today, that my son has no health issues related to being born a preemie. He is smart and strong-willed, no doubt from fighting for his life those few hours on this planet. I have no doubt that he will make a difference in his lifetime. If for no one else, he has made a difference in my life, and for that I am thankful.